Ignorance is Bliss
by Kaitou304
Summary: Rika is torn apart by a decision made by her teacher, but is it hate or guilt? Should she be grateful he told her? Reviews appreciated!
1. Chapter 1

The semester was coming to a close at Tomoeda University. The last assignments of Yoshiyuki Terada's lecture had just been turned in and he was staying after class to finish looking them over. Think about it. If you were a college professor, the last thing you would want to do is spend your Sunday grading when you could be doing…well…anything else.

Rika Sasaki had a different reason for staying. Anything to be able to spend a little more time with her favorite teacher. After school hours, the line between them was faded and they could be themselves a little more. Those moments were very enjoyable. They were few and far between, but that's what made them precious. She didn't have to focus as intensely on her studies, and he didn't have to divide his attention among the other students. She could learn more about him and perhaps get a little closer to knowing his true self. The one that he had to subdue a bit when he was trying to teach. If he were too casual with his students they would never get anything done, after all.

A few minutes had passed since Terada-sensei had turned the page and started reviewing the last paper in front of him. Rika had been working on the finishing details for a project in another class and was vigorously taking notes out of the textbook in front of her. He decided to rest his eyes from the scrawled handwriting of his students to check and see how Rika was doing.

She felt his eyes on her and looked up to meet them, to which he responded by quickly looking down at his work again. There was no particular rhyme or reason to it. As with anyone else it's a reflex to look away quickly when someone realizes you're watching. The quiet scratching of pencil on paper broke the short silence, so he knew Rika had returned to her work.

The silence was more than just _there_ though. There was a tension to it. There had been something Terada-sensei meant to bring up to her, but he wasn't sure how she would take it. He knew how she felt…no…how they felt towards each other. They cared for each other. It wasn't necessarily in a romantic way though.

What they had simply came from the heart. They were teammates, colleagues, and close friends. They were fond of each other. There was no other word for it. She could count on him when she couldn't count on anyone else. He was always reliable no matter what came up. He could be open about his concerns about certain things and have confidence in her not to say anything to his colleagues or the other students. She got along well with his parents to boot. They had bonded with each other to a point.

That's why what he had to tell her was so difficult.

_It'll be fine, _he was trying desperately to convince himself. _She'll understand. If it really matters, we'll keep in touch. I'm just following my dreams. _His thoughts hesitated. _Aren't I? _He snapped back to focus.

"So, I took the interview at Hikari University," he said quickly with an attempt at sounding casual, wanting to let the words out and be done.

Her pencil lead broke on the page. "Oh?"

She wiped the broken piece of graphite away and took her sharpener out of her school bag. The words went through her like a knife. She knew there was an opening in a major nearby school and thought he might try for it. It was at a school where he would surely grow and have a significant impact as a new teacher.

She shifted in her seat. "How did it go?" she asked trying to sound curious and supportive.

"It went pretty well. We won't know _how_ well until they make the official callbacks for the final round, but I feel pretty good about it."

He looked up. Was it just his imagination or did she just withdraw a little bit? She sounded encouraging, but her new seating position said something different. She really was mature in that way, he thought. No matter how much it hurt her, she wanted to see her friends happy first and foremost.

He circled the mark on the last paper and added it to the stack of the others. Overall, his students did very well, and as he would have expected, Sasaki-chan had one of the highest marks. She wasn't his star student, but she worked so hard for the marks that she got.

He picked up the papers, tapped them on the desk a few times to align them, and placed them in a manila folder. He walked across the room to set him on the podium so he wouldn't forget to hand them back on Monday, especially considering exams were on their way. His students would need them to prepare. He let out a long sigh as he walked back to his worktable.

As he started packing away his things, Rika took the hint that he would be leaving soon, so she started gathering up her own materials and putting them into her book bag. As he finished packing the last of his things in his briefcase, she went outside the room to get her coat and change of shoes from her locker.

_Calm down, Rika._ What he just told her brought her worst fears to potential. Her heart was fluttering with questions that she wanted to ask. She nervously fiddled with the lock, trying to open it.

_I should just ask him. Put my fears to rest. I could be worrying about nothing, after all!_

But the other part of her conscience thought differently.

_But it's none of my business. He's my teacher. It's completely up to him if he wants to leave to teach new students. It is his career we're talking about here._

She started when the door clicked shut and she heard his footsteps making their way to the elevator around the corner. Her mind was made up. She quickly put on her jacket, changed her slip-on shoes, grabbed her book bag, and closed her locker, running to catch up with him before she missed her chance. As she rounded the corner she was relieved to see he wasn't gone yet.

"So, I don't mean to pry," she started, finally catching up and standing next to him by the elevator doors. She was trying so hard to sound conversational and sincerely curious, "but if you win the position there, what will happen to _us_?"

"Us?" he asked with a little apprehension.

"You know, your students," she replied, though that's not what she really meant. She meant _them._ She cared for him a lot, and didn't want to see someone _this_ important to her walk out of her life. Again, if she couldn't count on anything else, she could count on him.

"Oh." He breathed an inward sigh of relief. "Well, someone very capable would come in to take my place. Pick up where I left off." He could see her beginning to tense from the corner of his eye.

_But no one else _is_ capable! _she thought._ You're the only one!_

"It's really not that likely though," he said, trying to reassure her. "It's not even that likely I'd make it in. So many other people are applying that my chances will be minimal."

_Are you kidding? You made it into the _finals!_ It's not that unlikely anymore._

A subtle tone announced the arrival of the elevator. Terada-sensei stood back and motioned for her to go in first. She abided and pressed the button to take them to the main level and the parking lot. The doors sealed them inside and the elevator jolted into motion. That wasn't what caused the bottomless feeling in her stomach though. She could feel the pain in her throat as she tried to choke back the emotions welling up inside of her. She could feel her eyes burn as tears threatened to appear, but so far she had managed to keep them at bay.

"So you would just leave then?" she inquired, trying, but failing to sound like her normal self.

"I would have to. It isn't that far away, but I wouldn't be able to commute and have enough time to teach everyone," he said, trying to make his decision sound reasonable.

She chanced a glance in his direction and felt the first tears roll down her cheeks, "But we really like you here!" she exclaimed suddenly.

_Like. We. _She displaced her feelings to include her classmates. She really loved him, but knew she would never really be able to say that. It was more of an unspoken feeling.

Saying what she was really thinking would be crossing a major line. If the job didn't work out, things would be awkward between them for the rest of her school career. If anyone heard her, he would lose his job. It would be misconstrued as something inappropriate. She just couldn't risk those things coming to pass. The last thing she wanted to do was lose the friendship she valued, or worse, destroy his teaching career because of rumors that he was in a relationship with one of his students.

"I really like you, too." Another chime and the doors to the elevator opened. By this point Rika's eyes were clenched shut as she tried to stop more tears from forming. She was shuddering as she tried, but failed, to control herself.

_So much for being mature for my age._

They walked out the main doors of the building and to the edge of the faculty lot. Cool autumn breezes made fallen leaves rustle about their feet. The sky was overcast with light, puffy clouds that foreshadowed the long winter to come. She picked out his car among the few that were left in the lot.

She was still trembling as the emotions poured onto her face. She finally gathered enough bravery to look him in the eye, but he had put on a pair of sunglasses.

_Is my response taking a toll on him? Is he trying to hide it from me? _She couldn't tell through the dark lenses. _Yoshi …_

She averted her gaze to the shoulder of his brown suede coat._ We've shared hugs so many times before. Now I really need him close. I need him to show me everything will be fine. He may leave soon, but he is here with me right now. That's all that matters._

So much she wanted to express how much this hurt. How much she had come to depend on him. She wanted the embrace that she had felt so often to be her reminder that no matter what happened, everything would be all right in the end.

Suddenly, she heard the rhythmic clapping of shoes approaching where they stood and turned her head in time to see another faculty member making her way towards the building. Rika thought Terada-sensei saw her coming before and didn't want her walk in on a scene that could be misconstrued later. Once she was inside, Rika hoped beyond hope that he would take her in to give her the comfort she so desperately needed…

…but it never came.

Her eyes were clenched shut again. Two more tears fell to the cold cement.

"Well," he started awkwardly, still averting his eyes, "I'll see you Monday?"

Rika looked up at him again. He couldn't bring himself to look back. She tensed her throat to speak, but when no sound came out, she simply nodded, trying to nonchalantly wipe the tears from her face with her gloved hands.

There was a short silence. He turned to take the first steps to his car.

**So there's my exposition. Please let me know what you think considering this is my first story. It's not a common pairing, but one I've wanted to try for some time.**


	2. Chapter 2

Rika started walking home in the opposite direction. She still couldn't level herself out and stop her body from shaking after what Terada-sensei had revealed to her. The cold, numb feeling in her stomach remained and spread all over. Her whole world was crumbling underneath her and there was nothing she could do to stop it. He could be leaving her. Forever.

_I feel like I've trusted my life in his hands and he is giving it up so easily. He made a commitment to teach us. To teach _me_. He has to finish what he started! He's betrayed me! I can't believe I trusted that he would always be here for me!_

She shook her head to herself and wiped away what remained of the moisture on her rosy, frost-kissed cheeks.

_But I should never have trusted him that much, _she reasoned._ "It's the nature of his job. An opportunity presents itself and if it proves better than his current situation, he should take it. It's what's best for him. That's how he wound up in Tomoeda after all. He had no idea where he was when he got here. He actually had to ask someone. They probably thought something was wrong with him!_

Rika smirked at the picture that formed in her mind: The amazingly talented but humble Yoshiyuki Terada getting off a plane after napping through the flight, still half-asleep and looking dazed, walking up to a flight attendant to ask where the crew had just taken him. She imagined the dumbfounded face of the flight attendant.

As she approached the her front door, she removed one of her gloves to reach into her pocket for the key. Her parents wouldn't be getting back from work until the early evening, so the house would be hers for a while. She unlocked the door and removed her shoes in the foyer when she stepped inside. It was colder outside than she thought it would be that day. Her hands were freezing from just those couple of seconds in which she fumbled with the key, but still, that was nothing compared to the coldness inside of her. It was as though something had been ripped from her. It was a icy and dreadful feeling.

She walked through the dark kitchen and down the basement steps. The little cove she had created for herself in the basement was where she got most of her schoolwork done. No one really bothered her down there. She was certainly a dedicated student. What little light came from outside fell across the spines of the books next to her desk. It wasn't cluttered, but everything was placed in neat order so she wouldn't have a distracting mess as she focused on her studies.

On the other side of the room was a short couch covered with a soft brown throw blanket and two blue, striped, down pillows. There was a world map tacked on the wall adjacent to the right armrest of it. She seemed like a fairly reserved, homely person, but she dreamed of traveling all over the globe someday.

She let her school bag slide from her shoulder onto the floor and sat on the couch. After sitting for a moment in pensive stillness, she pulled the throw blanket around herself, drew her knees in and let tears she had been holding back since she left the school fall into the pillow she had clutched to her chest. She was gripping it so tightly as if she was trying to squeeze out all the hurt from her body by creating enough tension. She wasn't wrenched over what he had done though. She was ashamed of _herself_.

_How can I be so selfish? He is the greatest thing that has ever come into my world. He's taught me so much not just to do with my studies, but also about what I should really be looking for in my life. Now he has the opportunity to touch thousands of more lives, and I want to hold him back here? Keep him from that? How could I think such a thing? I'm such an idiot! IDIOT!_

As time passed, Rika's sobs faded away and her breathing became slow and steady, but she couldn't stop grasping that pillow to her chest. Her heart felt broken, and she didn't want to lose the pieces. After a while of holding the fragments close, she drifted into a dreamless sleep.

**I know this chapter and the next are pretty short, but it's not how much you write. It's the content that counts, right?**

**Next chapter: After giving it some time to sink in, what will Rika's next move be?**


	3. Chapter 3

The sun had finally come out and was pouring its light through the tiny basement window. She stirred slightly and tried to turn over but was caught by something. The throw blanket had wound itself around her in her sleep, trapping her in its folds. When she finally managed to wriggle loose and onto her other side, she looked at the alarm clock at the end of the couch.

"9:34?!" She sat up with a start. The sun hadn't just come _out_. It had just come _up _to where it could shine through the basement window. She leaned back against the pillows and let her head fall into her hands as she wiped the sleep from her eyes. Blinking a few times, she tried to bring the map near her feet into better focus. The map…

She removed the blanket from her legs and walked over to it to look at it more closely. Scanning the paper, she found Tomoeda's tiny label and marked it with her index finger. Below it in bold letters she found Kobe and marked it with her other index finger. Terada-sensei's new teaching spot would be just north of there. She didn't have to look at the scale in the bottom corner to see that her teacher, her friend, would only be one major city away. Just one major city. That's not so bad. If they really wanted to stay in touch, she would just have to take a 45-minute train ride.

She took her hands from the map and straightened them over her head in a satisfying stretch. After replacing the throw blanket and pillows neatly on the couch she made her way upstairs to greet her parents. She was wondering if they would still be sitting around the breakfast table, but as her head escalated over the ledge by the stairs, she saw no one was there.

There was, however, a white piece of paper and pen sitting on top of the table. They had left her a note. She picked it up and scanned her mother's handwriting. She always admired how clear it was.

_Good morning, sweetheart!_

_You seemed like you had an exhausting day. You were asleep and still in your school clothes when we got home last night, so we didn't want to disturb you for dinner. We did make you a plate though. It's in the refrigerator._

_Your father and I went out shopping. We should be getting back by 11am._

_See you soon!_

_Love,_

_Mom and Dad_

She finished reading the note, turned around, and let it float into the trash bin.

"I guess I wasn't ready to talk to anyone yet anyway," she said to herself. "They would probably ask me what was wrong, and I would never be able to make up a good white lie."

She looked around at the empty kitchen in front of her. She didn't have an appetite since yesterday, but she knew she had to get something in her; especially considering her parents would worry if she didn't finish the plate they had made for her. She was so grateful to them. They let her live at home while she attended school, while she worked to pay it off, and they even did little token things like this for her every so often. They were the best.

She took the plate out of the refrigerator and found a clean pair of chopsticks in the utensil drawer next to the sink. Sitting at the table in the quiet, empty house, she finished her breakfast with the thoughts that had been tormenting her since yesterday.

Even if Terada-sensei would only be one major city away, that was still far more than she was used to traveling to see him. It mattered to her though, so even if it were only once every couple of weeks, she would somehow make it happen.

**Thanks for those of you have read so far! It means a lot considering Rika and Terada is not on of the most popular pairings. **

**Next chapter: A new character makes her appearance and offers some helpful advice and insight to our troubled friend.**


	4. Chapter 4

Rika's parents had made it home a couple hours later and were busying themselves in the kitchen to get ready for lunch. Her dad was making his "famous fish soup," which she knew would take a while. In the meantime, she returned to the basement and was attempting to formally put together the end-of-semester project that she was working the day before. It was difficult to focus on her work given how preoccupied she was, and especially considering what happened the last time she worked on it.

When Tomoyo called, she decided it would be best to answer.

It was a surprise to both of them when they wound up sitting together in the same class all these years later, but it was like they had never been separated. Old friendships are like that. It had been a while since they had talked with all the end-of-term assignments they were being laden with, though.

"Hello? Sasaki residence."

"Rika-chan, it's Tomoyo! How are you? It's been a while!" It was uplifting to hear her cheerful, energetic voice.

"I know! I thought the same thing when I saw your name on my caller ID. I've been well. What about you?"

"I'm doing very well, thank you. Look, Rika-chan, that's actually what I called to talk to you about," Tomoyo said with a tone of concern.

"Hmm?"

"I saw you when you were walking home yesterday. You were making quite the variety of faces, so I wanted to make sure that everything was okay. Is something troubling you?"

The question took her by surprise. "You could say that," she replied, embarrassed that someone had seen her, even if it was just Tomoyo. Rika stood up and started walking slow circles around the perimeter of the basement. "I just found out yesterday that one of my teachers could be leaving to teach at another university. A spot opened up and he applied. They called him back for the final round of interviews."

"Not Terada-sensei?!" Tomoyo didn't know him as well as she did, but she knew Rika was very fond of him.

"The whole reason I'm fighting my way through this program is because of him. I can't imagine studying under anyone else. Some of the others in his class and I talked about it. We aren't sure about whether or not we want to wish him well. On one hand, he's given so much of himself and we want to see him achieve whatever he sets his mind to. On the other hand, we don't want to lose him, but the only way he can stay is if he doesn't win the spot, and we don't want that either."

Before she knew it, Rika had been spilling out all the frustrations, concerns, and guilty thoughts that had occurred to her since she was told. That it didn't make any sense. That he doesn't like larger cities, so why even _consider_ Kobe? That she didn't know if he would ever feel comfortable enough to finally just settle down.

"I don't know what to do," she finished. "I could go on and try to pretend that this didn't affect me, which it obviously did, so that would never work. I could give him the cold shoulder in return, but I know that'll never get me anywhere either. Tomoyo-chan, what am I supposed to do?"

"Oh my." Tomoyo said as her friend finished. She could hear Rika's voice straining at the end of it, which made her heart wrench. "Rika-chan, this is very serious. I'm so glad I called. You know, I went though something similar in my first year. Trust me, if you ignore him, it'll just make things worse, and neither of you will ever recover. No friendship should be abandoned over something like this."

She paused to emphasize that point and let that sink in.

"A student-mentor relationship is something precious, and it's obvious that you both care for each other deeply. I think you know that already, so I won't press it, but Rika, that obviously hurt him if it hit him so hard he can hardly look at you now!"

Rika opened her mouth to retort that it wasn't what she thought, but Tomoyo was known for her observational skills, especially when it came to her friends and her explanation would never work. Usually, Tomoyo's instincts were right on. Rika hated to admit it, but her perceptions were no less accurate than they had ever been. She thought about it for a moment. The fact that she was deeply hurt affected him in return. That spoke volumes about the fact that he cared for her too. It made her happy, but it also cast more shadows over what would happen to them in the future.

Tears that she didn't think she could have left started to form in her eyes, but they never fell. They came from the inspiration she felt from Tomoyo's ability to sense her feelings and accept them, not out of sadness.

"So go to Yoshiyuki Terada the next time you see him, and even if he ignores you, leap up and hug that sad jerk or something!"

Rika stopped in her tracks.

"TOMOYO-CHAN! What?!"

Her hand flew up to cover her face. She was glad they were talking over the phone. That last comment made Rika turn bright red.

"He'll get what you mean to say, won't he?" she said with an element of mirth in her voice.

"I guess," Rika replied nervously, "but isn't that a little…_extreme_? You know how shy he can be. You know how shy _I_ am!"

"You just _have_ to let me capture it on video! Please?"

Rika laughed for the first time since yesterday. "You're still into the whole video-taping thing?"

"Of course! Do your best, Rika-chan!"

"I will. Thank you so much. You don't know how much this means to me."

She tried to sound as grateful as possible. She wanted to make _sure_ Tomoyo knew.

"It occurred to me this morning," Rika recalled. "I have this big map of the world by my couch and when I woke up it was the first thing I saw, and I realized, 'You know, even if he does move, it won't be too far away. Just one city.'"

"See? You know something's important to you if it's the first thing you think about in the morning!" Tomoyo chimed, glad that Rika was showing an element of confidence.

"Rika-san!" Her father was calling her from upstairs. "Soup's ready!"

"Okay! Thank you!" She brought the phone back to her ear. "I have to go. I'll call you to let you know how it goes?"

"Sounds like a plan. Good night!"

"Goodnight. Thanks again!"

**Next chapter: Rika has had some time to process her thoughts and feelings, and has been forced to come face to face with others. When she sees Terada-sensei again will they be able to act like everything is fine, or will the sight of each other bring all the tension bubbling back to the surface?**


	5. Chapter 5

Exam week was very stressful, but fortunately seemed to fly by. When Rika went into her final with Terada-sensei, she did her best to act normally towards him, but the static in the air was very evident and he would only make eye contact with her with hesitation. Try as she might to pretend everything was normal, it certainly did not feel normal. She never thought it would until they knew the results of his interview, but even then, she doubted whether things could ever be the same.

She did her best on his exam and was praying the others did the same. Maybe if they could prove how much progress he had helped them make, he would be inspired to stay. She knew that she tripped up on a couple of questions, but she could not let it preoccupy her. She did her best and that is all she could hope for.

As soon as the last exam let out, she gathered all of her things from her locker to take home for the winter and hurried to the bus stop in front of the campus union. She was hoping to beat Terada-sensei to the train station.

Even though things were tense between them, meeting him there to see him off for a trip was still tradition. He would be visiting his parents over winter break for the next couple of weeks and she did not want to leave their relationship in such an anxious state. If they did not try to settle the waters before he left, she was sure they would both be thinking about it all through vacation.

***

Rika sat quietly and pensively as the bus rolled past the city scene. The trees were bare, though it was hard to tell through the salt that had glazed onto the windows. Rika was not really paying attention to that though. She remained zoned out for the better part of the ride rehearsing in her mind what they could talk about. Conversing with Terada-sensei had never been difficult before, but it would be foolish to pretend that nothing had changed. She knew she did not want to talk about Kobe. That much was for sure. There was nothing that either of them could do about that. They would just have to wait to see how it turned out.

When she arrived at the station, she climbed down the bus steps onto the curb, and walked to one of benches outside the main building. Eventually he would make his way there. Until then, she decided to take a seat and wait.

She thought she must look strange to passersby fidgeting nervously with her hair and checking herself over in her pocket mirror now and again to make sure she didn't look frazzled after the stress of exams.

Suddenly, the sound of plastic wheels hitting stone across the drop-offs road summoned her back to reality. Rika put the small mirror back in her bag and looked up in time to see Terada-sensei making his way across with his bags. He was carrying a backpack, a laptop bag, and two black rolling bags, one on each side. On top of the bag to his left carefully perched was a small, black, mesh bag.

"Hey," he said as he picked up his bags to get over the curb. He was looking down at the pavement, but looked up long enough to catch her eye for a second.

Rika got up from the bench to greet him and help him with the luggage he was rolling at his sides, but he insisted that he could handle it and that they should go inside to check in.

"What about your cat?" She looked back into the eyes of the gray, furry animal through the mesh of the perched bag. The cat let out a small meow, imploring to her for freedom.

"I've got him. He'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I wasn't sure if I'd see you here this time," he steered the conversation so she would stop being so concerned. "I didn't know what your exam schedule would look like."

"Yep! Today was the last one."

"You sound confident. They went well?"

"I think so," she said with certainty. "What about you? Have you started looking at our exams yet?"

He nodded. "For the most part it looks like everyone did really well this semester. Good progress from everybody."

Rika breathed a sigh of relief on the inside. _Good. Anything less and he definitely wouldn't have had any inspiration to stay._

When they reached the counter, Terada-sensei propped up his luggage and set the cat carrier on the floor, reached into his back pocket for his wallet, and took out his ID. While he worked with the attendant to check in his luggage and get his ticket, Rika bent down to interact with his small travel companion.

"Hello, Kemuri-san," she said quietly, stooping down and putting her hand in front of the mesh so that he could try to pick up her scent. He put his nose up against the side of his bag, and after recognizing her, butted his head against the flap to weakly try and force his way out.

The attendant put tags around the handles of Terada-sensei's bags and rolled them to the back room. When she came back, she returned his ID and handed him his freshly printed ticket. "Thank you, sir! You'll be at Platform 5."

"Thank_ you_," he said. He put his ID back into his wallet an returned it to his back pocket. He picked up his cat carrier and laptop case, turning around to face Rika.

"Shall we?" He motioned his head down the hall by the boarding platforms.

"Sure. It's _my_ turn to buy this time though!"

"Oh, come on…" She did this every time. It was amusing to see her try to fight him over something so silly.

"No, really! It's been my turn to buy five times over, at least!" They started to make their way down the hall.

They used to take turns buying coffee every time he was going on a trip, but lately he was stealing every chance that came along. He was not about to let that change this time either.

"Hi," Rika said happily as they arrived at the coffee kiosk. "Could I have a small café mocha, please?" She looked over at Terada-sensei to let him order as she pulled out her money and hid it behind her back, hoping to get a one-up on her teacher.

"I'll have an iced tea." He said as he set down his pet and reached for his back pocket again.

"No!" Rika stepped forward with her eyes wide open, smiling. She reached to push down the credit card he was extracting from the leather folds, but to no avail.

"Come on, get out of here!" He managed to shoulder past her and pass off the credit card to the amused employee who began processing the transaction.

Rika threw Terada-sensei a playful glare. "No fair," she huffed as she put the money back into her pocket. He smiled to himself as he took back his card and replaced it in his wallet.

_This is normal_, she thought, relieved to see him smile. A couple of days ago, she was wondering if she would ever see one on his face because of her again.

When they got their beverages, Terada-sensei went around the corner of the kiosk to add some sweetener. His cat started meowing from inside his carrier again, so Rika bent down to play with him a little.

"It's okay, he'll be right back." Kemuri meowed again as he pushed his head against the mesh in the front of the carrier.

She stood up as he came back around to retrieve Kemuri. They walked with their beverages to the platform where his train would be boarding, and when saw that it was already crowded with people, decided it would be a better idea to sit at the gate next door to it. It was quieter there.

His train was delayed. The weather in Tomoeda was not bad, but trains have to transfer. The one he was waiting for was going through rough weather on its way there.

"So do you have any good plans for the holidays?" he inquired, setting down the carrier by a row of chairs against the wall. He took a sip of his tea through the straw as he sat down.

Rika sat in the seat to his left. She brought the chocolaty coffee to her lips to try and taste it, but it was still to hot. She removed the lid and blew across the surface to try and cool it down a bit.

"Not really," she replied between breaths. She brought the cup down to her lap. "I'm going to be house-sitting for one of the people my mom works with while they go on vacation in the south."

"Are they going to pay you?"

"Yeah."

"That's good," he said. She would have something productive to do over break. "You'll make a little extra money then."

"Mm-hmm!"

At that moment, an infant boy came waddling down the hall caterwauling his little lungs out, his father chasing after him, bending as he tried to catch his son's arm. The boy's whining was annoying, but at least his father was close by. Once he finally caught up to his child, he swooped him up and turned around to carry him back to their seats.

"Wow, that kid would make a good singer," observed Terada-sensei, amused by the scene.

Rika smirked skeptically at her teacher's remark. "What?"

"This is a big room. He filled it up without looking like he was even trying," he explained.

She brought the cup of coffee back up to her smiling lips and found it had cooled down enough to drink. Terada-sensei had finished the last of his tea and got up to throw the empty cup in the trash bin across the hall. When he returned, he let out a long sigh as he sat back down.

Rika continued sipping her drink as a few moments passed. Things were still a little awkward between the two of them, but she was relieved that their visit was not passing in complete silence. They were still managing to have a good conversation, considering.

A few more moments passed in silence. He had been quiet since he returned and his head was looking downward. She looked at his hands resting in his lap expecting to see him checking the email on his cell phone, but there was nothing there. Then she looked at his down turned face and was caught off guard by what she saw.

He was napping.

He was actually dozing. Right there at her side.

Her heart was flooded with the most compassion she had ever felt. He looked so peaceful this way. His eyes were gently closed and every muscle in his face was completely relaxed in his repose.

She had never seen him like this. He looked so calm.

She blushed at the though of how she must have looked. Luckily no one was around she would have really felt embarrassed. A lot of people assumed that he was her father or another older relation, but no daughter would give her father that look. Her love for him was painted all over her face.

Terada-sensei must have felt her watching him and stirred awake. He sat up and slapped his hands on his legs to try and wake himself up as Rika shifted nervously in her seat to try and recover her composure. She looked towards the other side of the platform as she took another sip of her coffee.

"My train is delayed," he said through sustained yawn. "You don't have to stay here the whole time."

"Mm-mmm." She shook her head as she gulped down the mouthful of coffee she had taken in. "I _want_ to be here."

"No really. _One_ of us should be getting something done." He did not want her to feel obligated to stay.

He always enjoyed her company. Without her, time at the train station would simply be time spent alone. He enjoyed that too, but with a two-and-a-half hour train ride ahead of him, he would have all the still time he wanted. She was always welcome to be there with him.

Rika stood up, finished the rest of her coffee, and made her way across the platform area to throw out her empty cup. She smiled at the thought of how Tomoyo would react having managed to miss capturing those last couple of moments on camera.

When she turned around to start walking back, Terada-sensei had Kemuri's carrier on his lap and was opening the zippered flap on the top. Kemuri excitedly pushed his head out of the small opening and struggled to get out the rest of the way.

"Oh, no you don't!" he said, petting the cats head. Kemuri took the hint and stopped struggling. Rika took her seat again. "You remember what happened last time?" he asked her.

"Yeah," Rika grinned, watching her teacher and his pet interact. "He escaped the bag and you had to chase him across the station to get him back!"

"Well, he got away with that again recently." It was embarrassing, but even he smiled at the memory.

"What?!" She was laughing as she recalled watching him chase his cat around the crowded area. Fortunately, another traveler stopped to help coax the meddlesome fur ball out from under a potted tree.

"Yeah, and when I finally caught up with him, I realized that I had left my laptop at the gate. Fortunately it was still here when I got back."

"I can't believe you left it here!" That laptop was practically his entire career in a bag. If it had just walked off, he would have been done in.

They sat for a few more moments petting Kemuri, occasionally having to stop him from another attempt at a great escape.

A click from the speakers signaled the start of an announcement. It was coming from the platform next door. Terada-sensei's platform.

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and thank you for choosing Nipon Railways for your travel today. We'd like to announce that we will be boarding this route shortly, so please begin organizing your belongings. If they are not labeled, come and see me for a claim tag."

He looked into the yellow-green eyes of his companion. "Alright, back inside."

Terada-sensei put enough pressure on the cat's head to signal what he wanted him to do. Once all his fur was clear of the opening, he sealed the zipper and lifted the carrier onto the ground as he got up. He checked around himself to make sure he had all of his things before it was actually time to board.

Rika helped him carry his belongings around the corner to join the rest of the people that would be on his train and set them down. Terada-sensei kept the strap for Kemuri's case in his hand though. The cat tended to start yowling whenever he could not feel the presence of his master.

A crowd of people had gathered by the platform counter to tag their items. A woman and small boy were patiently waiting near Rika and Terada-sensei for the boarding process to begin. The woman looked older with short, faded blonde and gray hair and had a kind face, and was wearing a bright read sweater over a white turtleneck. She had to have been the boy's grandmother.

Kemuri let out a long meow.

"Look, there's a kitty inside there," she said in a small voice to her grandson, pointing to the carrier.

The small boy's eyes lit up and a wide smile came onto his face. He bent down to level himself with the carrier in Terada-sensei's hand and tilted his head sideways. He would barely be able to see the cat's eyes through the black mesh, especially considering his long, black bangs were covering his eyes.

"Kitty! Meow meow meow meow!" the boy continued on excitedly.

Kemuri let out another meow.

"He answered you!" The woman laughed as the boy jumped around in excitement. She looked at Rika and Terada-sensei as if to thank them for making their day. They returned the same smile.

_Click._ Another announcement was beginning.

"Thank you for your patience, ladies and gentlemen. We would like to begin the boarding process with those who may need a little extra time getting situated on the train. This includes those with disabilities and parents with small children."

The old woman and her grandson stepped forward.

"Bye-bye, neko-san!" said the boy, crouching down and waving to Kemuri.

Rika and Terada-sensei simply smiled as he went through the train doors.

"Well, I guess this is it." Terada-sensei turned to face his student.

She nodded in reply.

They managed to not talk about Kobe the entire time, for which she was grateful. It was still a problem, and it still needed resolution, but that would never come until they knew the final results of the interviews.

After a moment of silence between them, Rika had finally made up her mind. They seemed to have made a mutual decision. Stepping towards one another, they both opened their arms to each other for one last gesture of affection. She nestled her face into his shoulder so only her eyes could be seen, and closed them as she let herself slip into the wholeness of the moment.

_There's no space between us, _she told herself. She hugged him a little tighter and took in every piece of evidence that he was right there with her. The softness of his jacket. His warmth. Everything. It was the greatest comfort he could offer to her at that moment, and the greatest comfort she could receive. That comfort was a little late in coming, but you know the saying:

Better late than never.

Her mind had been so preoccupied with the idea of him leaving for the past week, but for right now, they were still together. Though half the country would separate them while he was away for the holidays, though miles and miles may separate them next year if should acquire the position in Kobe, they were still together. That was all that mattered.

As they broke the embrace all they could both do was look at the floor. Anywhere but each other. They were both a little shy about what just happened, even though it was the most modest possible show of affection.

_Click._

"We will now begin general boarding. Please come forward with your ticket in hand."

Terada-sensei went to pick up his laptop bag and his cat, and Rika waited in line with him as long as she could. After the ticket agent tore off the stub and returned it to him, he turned to face Rika one last time.

"I'll see you. We'll be in touch."

"Bye. Have a good trip," Rika said, backing away from the train and the platform counter.

He took the first steps towards the train, both of them comforted by the feeling that they were back on track. She new their relationship was never lost, but that had not stopped her from worrying over the last few days.

"Yoshi!"

He was probably only two steps from the train entrance when he heard her call his name.

Rika came rushing forward and put her arms around his neck. His hands were full, so all he could do was bend forward and accept that last shared moment. As she let him go, he nodded to her and went through the doorway out of sight.


	6. Chapter 6

_Everything seems to be back to normal_, Rika thought, making her way back to the bus stop to go home for the evening.

The sun was already almost set in the cool winter sky, shedding the wispy clouds alight with a deep pink glow. The wind blew through her hair, but it did not burn. There were no tears on her cheeks to cause that pain. This cold in this breeze was refreshing and awakening. It helped to clear her mind.

A few days ago, she questioned whether or not she would ever want to speak with Terada-sensei again, but Tomoyo assured her of what she already felt. She reminded her that othing is permanent, not even our troubles. If Rika avoided him, she would only have marred their friendship further, and something like him wanting to take his dreams further is not worth breaking up what they had. Now she knew that she could be happy for him if he won the position.

Was she upset over finding out that his plans might move them apart? Absolutely, but now she was glad. Had she not known his plans, she never would have understood how much it would have hurt her. How much she really depended on him being there. She would never have discovered how much she had come to love him.

Terada-sensei did not get the job in Kobe, much to Rika's relief. In fact, they decided not to take anyone, which was much to everyone's surprise. He would be staying in Tomoeda, at least until Kobe opened for applications again.

***

During that year, Terada-sensei and Rika's relationship was always in a state of discovery. She had managed to pay for coffee, albeit once. He had been there for her during the summer to offer her advice when other parts of her life had seemed to come apart. Her mom had almost lost her job, which affected the whole family, but she knew that his being there would make everything all right, no matter what happened.

Terada-sensei's parents had come to visit him for a short while during that next school year, and when it came time for them to leave, Rika joined him in saying goodbye at the train station. Though he would never admit to it, she saw tears beginning to form in his eyes, and was glad. Though the people he cared about most would be going home, away from him, she was there as a reminder that he would never really be alone, no matter what.

As the winter came around again, he applied for the position in Kobe once more, and once more, no one was hired. She found herself scared when he mentioned his willingness to apply again, but took comfort in remembering the events from the year before and how things had managed to turn out better than ever.

Those memories kept replaying in her mind, and pushed her to want to do something special to remind him how much he was loved, even if she could not actually say it. What made it most special was that theirs was an unspoken bond.

On the last day of classes, she came up to his office with her gift bag in hand. She made him some special treats to take home and share with his family over the winter break, and included a pouch of treats for Kemuri. What took the most work was the letter she wrote. It was not much, but it was still the most important part of her gift to him.

He was standing at his desk with his back turned to her packing his things to take home for the holiday. When she subtly knocked on his open door, he turned around.

"Hey, come on in!" he welcomed her, and went back to packing his things.

"I just wanted to bring you something…"

"Uh-oh, have you been baking stuff you shouldn't again?" he asked mischievously.

"You know it!"

"Aw, you shouldn't have. So festive…look, even the bag is beautiful…those colors…" He took the bag from her extended hand carefully as he examined the dark blues, greens, reds and gold.

She picked out the bag immediately upon seeing it. She knew right away that he would like those deep hues.

He set the parcel on his chair and started to look though the red and green tissue paper inside, eventually pulling out the largest item and unwrapped it from the green paper covered in snowmen. "Oh no…this is all for me?" He peeled away some of the aluminum foil to reveal a large block of homemade chocolate candy.

"Well, I know you always share whatever I give you with your family so I wanted to make sure you'd have enough," she said, pleased with herself.

"You're too much," he said grinning, putting the foil square back into the bag.

"Wait, there's still more in there," she told him urgently as he lifted the bag to set it aside.

"What?" He brought it back up to his chair.

"Keep digging!" she told him. He looked like a little kid as he shuffled through the rest of the tissue paper in his attempt to find the other gifts. He pulled out a white wrapped pouch and tore off the paper to reveal the cat treats.

"Oh, he's going to love these, thank you!" He looked back in the bag to make sure he had not missed anything. "There's a card," he said curiously as he pulled out the small, tan envelope.

"Handmade paper," he observed, turning it over and pulling out the card on the inside. It felt like fabric. There were leaves and pieces of grass caught between the layers of material, so he knew it had to have been hand-pressed.

"This is beautiful. Wow." He carefully looked over every detail. That was one of the discoveries she had made about him. He liked to take the time to appreciate the little things.

She dwelled in one of the memories from earlier in the year.

The spring before, they had been walking past their main building when a fresh, warm fragrance suddenly filled the air. After a moment of looking around to find the source, they discovered the tall bush of tiny white flowers growing near the entrance. Rika had taken a few more paces to the entrance, passing it, but when she looked to her side, Terada-sensei was suddenly gone. She looked back the way they had come to find he was actually stopped by the bush with his face close to the petals to take in their scent.

It took her aback, almost as much as he had when she caught him asleep, but _not quite_ as much.

_Who does things like this anymore?_ _He's actually stopping to smell the flowers. _She took a couple steps closer to the bush to join him.

Her attention was brought back to the present when she saw him trying to open the inner paper that she had written on.

"Should I read this later?" He managed to get the soft pages apart to reveal her elegant handwriting. "I'll read this later. Don't want to start crying," he threw in facetiously. He put the card carefully back into its envelope and placed it in the bag.

"Thank you very much," he said holding his arm out to bring her into a hug.

They started walking to his door, side by side. Rika had no real reason to stay. It was already late and time for her to be getting home.

"There was one more in there. It's just a smaller bar of the candy. Travel size for your convenience."

"You're terrible. You shouldn't do things like that for me. It's not good for me."

"Fine then. Next time I won't!" Rika jabbed playfully, looking over at him. He had the smirk she was hoping to see on his face. It was the simple things like that, being able to joke with each other in such a way, which assured her that they would always be close.

"Have a good night," he said as she walked out the door. "We'll be in touch?"

"Absolutely!" she said, turning around to face him as she walked backwards towards the elevator. "When are you going to be taking the train home?"

"Actually, I think I'll be driving it this time."

"Well, be sure to drive safely then."

"Of course. See you."

"Bye."

She went down the hall and pressed the button by the elevator doors. As she took the ride downstairs to the main lot and walked to her car, she imagined what he would think when he opened her letter and read her handwriting inside.

_Yoshi,_

"_We may have gone down some difficult roads,_

_but I can think of no one I would rather face the journey with._

_The best things in life are worth working for, after all. _

_I am grateful every day that you are a part of my life."_

_Rika Sasaki_


End file.
